Purpose

I had been praying for a sign from God. A sign of what my life would be. I wanted to know where I am going. It all became clear. And it also became clear that God had been planning what my life would become for some time too. It is impossible for this to be a coincidence. I also don't want people to know, so if you know me, and you are troubled by my purpose: please don't tell my parents, they aren't supposed to know yet. Talk to me if you need to.
I am called to do mission work in Russia. I know very little about mission work. I also know very little about Russia.
I chose Concordia college because it had the best feel. I liked their music department. I liked the feel of Moorhead. I realized that Concordia was where I wanted to go. Concordia has an amazing Russian studies program. I hadn't considered it as part of my choice, but it is a 'coincidence' worth noting.
I also stole soon-to-be-thrown-out music from Eastman. Yeah, well...because I stole the music, I recorded it and realized one insomniaticly late-night...Tchiacovsky touched me. More than any other music I've ever heard. Tchiacovsky spoke to me on the pain of the world...how fair is foul, foul is fair. Here in the US we have everything. Everything is at our fingertips. I mean, even my own family wants more. They want more, but they don't realize what they have, we don't even take decent CARE of what we have, yet we want more. Tchiacovsky showed me in beauty how having less IS more. My parents keep telling me not to share, not to give everything I have. How it isn't responsible. How it won't get me anywhere. But look at them. They aren't happy themselves, are they? In Russia, they have nothing. There is true pain, but it isn't about responsibility to ones SELF in this world...it's about how we treat OTHERS. And the really funny thing is that it was my own parents who taught me that as a youngster teaching me the opposite now. They think that they have gotten wiser with age, but really...I think they've lost their minds. To GIVE is to recieve. Right now, I've got to get through school. I know that there are other reasons God wants me at Concordia. It's an expensive education. It's going to be rough trying to pay all of this back too. I'm worried about it, but I know that if God is on my side, who can be against me?
I pray, Lord that nothing be against me, that nothing takes away my will in this.
Lord, help me to bring Your peace wherever I go.